My Results

I'm not sure how many different B&Bs it took before I started to become bothered by the widely adopted "leave your key at reception when you go out" system.  They always tie the key to a larger than usual key fob to stop you running off with it and yesterday's blue plastic tag was eight inches long, not much less subtle than a breeze block.  When I returned, it was a different receptionist to the one who checked me in, so I was hoping she'd want me to say a little more than just "room one" to let me back in.  But no.

This was Thursday night, and I'd been to Gutshot for the tournament but stayed for the live action after busting out very early.  I played the hand that crippled me dreadfully, check-calling on the river for most of my stack with just an eight-high flush on a paired board.  I was out of position and any hand I could beat would have been silly to not check behind.  After much palaver over whether one player should deal for everyone - in theory to keep things moving more quickly - but then finding that he was not really that great (beginning with a misdeal on the first hand, and not really improving) we'd reverted back to self-deal just in time for me to bust myself with 22 against AT for what few chips I had left.

So by 8.45pm I was in the £25/50 game.  Played for nearly 3 hours, came away with £99 profit. Yes, triple digits would have been a nice achievement but I wasn't going to chase it, especially as I wanted to catch the last tube.  I started off buying in for £60 because I didn't have any tenners, and that's OK apparently when one of the regulars already bent the rules, topping up a few minutes earlier to £100 because "there's a lot of money on the table".

I got lucky with QQ early on, turning a set and doubling up, funding some of my future donkishness.  I still have too much of a limit hold'em thinking, but at least I'm recognising that, even if I'm not doing enough about it when it matters.  For example, calling a river bet after the turn was checked through, holding just AJ on a board A7472 with three hearts.  Just because it wasn't a pot-sized bet doesn't make it worth the call, like it does in the fabulous $2/$4 games in Vegas.

There's only really one winning hand worth relating.  It earned me two players' stacks, as well as plenty of abuse from Goscars "Best Moody" winner Feroz, who had delighted us all with a bad beat story before even sitting down.  I was happy to give him another.  "What a fish.  I hate bad players.  How could you think you were winning?".  After taking his stack, I took great pleasure in simply telling him, "I didn't".

I have Ace Ten in spades in the small blind, but it's £1/£1 blinds so it doesn't even cost half a bet to play.  After four limpers, I just check and the big blind raises the pot - five quid more.  A passive player trapped in middle position calls, so the pot is £21 and it's £5 to me.  It's worth seeing the flop for sure.

Ace Seven Four.  Top pair for me, but there's no spades so I don't have any redraw and I probably need help already.  The big blind bets £10 after I check, and the middle player calls.  I'm facing £10 for a pot of £41, and though I'm probably not ahead I figure the "worst call I ever saw" is actually worth it here for a combination of reasons.

There is a small a chance I'm actually ahead, against some combinations of pocket pairs, aces with poorer kickers or even worse.  A pocket pair 88-KK for the big blind is very possible, and so I'm more concerned about whether the caller slowplaying something much stronger, or just coming along for the ride with any pair.  I also have a chance to improve to a hand that's most likely a winner.  It's only 3 outs at best (assuming nobody flopped a set) but it will make top two pair which should get me paid off by a big ace or a worse two pair.  My call closes the action, and it gives me enough information to tell me how to proceed.  The original raiser would have to suicidal to bet out again with any hand worse than a pair of aces after facing two calls with an ace on board, and I'd have to respect any bet from the middle player.  I can easily fold on the turn without losing sleep if I'm facing a bet, so I think it's £10 well spent.

The turn does brings a lovely - some might say miracle - ten though, and the big blind moves all in for £24, out of turn and without even looking at the next card.  Really, what does this achieve here, except letting me make the easiest trap-check ever?  The other player calls, which worries me a bit, but not enough.  I'm ahead more often than not here, and the pot is huge.  I push for another £27 and get called, they both table Ace King and don't improve on the river.  The small flop bet and middle player's smooth call cost them both the pot - it was just cheap enough for me to get a little bit fishy, so I did.

I make it £160 to me and £8 in "donations" to the club.  Everyone's a winner.  Nearly.

As I was working in London yesterday and it was somehow easier and cheaper to stay the night and get a train back saturday morning, I decided to take a look at how Gutshot was doing after the court case, and take my first crack at the cash tables there.  Something I decided I had to do before it's too late, if there's any chance the club won't survive much longer.  It took me a good half an hour to get a seat.  I was third on the list for the £25-£50 game (that's the range of allowable buy-ins, not the blinds) and I saw about three hundred people come up the stairs whilst I was waiting but never heard a seat called.  Turns out the waiting list doesn't actually mean a whole lot, and the more practical way to get into a game is to ask one of your mates already at a table to throw a chip at a seat as soon as somebody leaves, and then it's OK to jump the queue.

The tournament arena in the building next door has been closed down - a real shame - so space is at a premium.  The new arrangement is for cash tables to run around the clock (as late as the players want to stay) and tournaments go upstairs in the bar area on circular self-dealt tables.  I'd only played in the "old" club a couple of times before, and once was  a £5 pack-em-in-get-em-out rebuy, which was horrible.  Rebuy tournaments are off the menu now, on account of the new "donation" policy.  Since Derek Kelly was found guilty of charging a levy on gambling activities, the club runs rake-free and any money you wish to contribute towards the facilities when you play is optional.  For freezeout tournaments, the suggested donation is be ten percent of the buy-in, just like the old registration fee.  In rebuys they used to take a percentage out of the pot instead, so the easiest thing was just to stop them.

In the case of the £25-50 game, the suggested donation was £3 every hour.  A somewhat bizarre way to collect a very reasonable (it's that phrase again) service charge.  I only saw one person opt out all night, and he didn't get any grief about it from the players or staff. But he did have aces cracked brutally in a large pot and then steam off another couple of buy-ins before leaving.  Funny how things turn out.

Although the hourly charge is decent, tipping the dealers was also expected.  It's illegal in a casino, but perfectly fine in an illegal card room.   Half the dealers working were there for tips only, which wasn't a bad gig really (I'd love to do it!) but they only got to work one hour on, one hour off which slices your pay in half and leaves you hanging around in the bar for long stretches.

You have to sign a sheet of paper to say that you agree to make the voluntary donations, and the very presence of paper on the table let to an outbreak of players attempting to remember the fantastic paper folding skills they had when they were younger.  One guy did manage to construct a paper cube, then wrote "fold", "call", "raise" and "re-raise" on four of the sides.  The other two sides stayed blank, depsite calls for "trap check" and "check-raise" to be added from players who hadn't quite thought it through.  Of course I managed to get involved in the first hand where he decided to use this.

With a straddle and 3 callers, I find AJs in the blind and raise the pot to £10.  The dice's creator rolls a "fold" and throws his cards away.  The next player rolls a "call", chuckles and throws in another £8.  The next player throws a "re-raise" and bets the pot.  £36 more to me, and what can I do?  I could push for the remaining £70-odd I have left.  However I doubt I can make him fold anything now, and I'm either slightly ahead or way behind.  Do I believe he really just did what the dice said?  Or I can call and play out of position against two players, with not enough left to make a pot-sized bet, so I have to hit the flop.  Is folding here mandatory, or just weak?  I folded, he showed 9Ts and I started plotting to destroy the dice the next time it came near me.

The players were pretty solid on the whole, but I did manage to spot some value in this game - mostly it's the habitual straddlers that provide it.  There were usually four of five straddles each round.  The dealers encouraged it with cries of "small blind £1, big blind £1... its £2 if you want to straddle".  Obviously bigger pots mean bigger tips, so who can blame them.  But straddling is one of the worst moves in poker.  You're paying a big premium to see a flop with random cards out of position, and I figured that having £10 of almost dead money in the middle for every £2 I paid in blinds was a pretty good deal.

Anyway, the result of my six and a half hour session was an overall profit of £17.  Which is not a great hourly rate, but at least it's profit.  Although this really sounds more impressive than it actually was.  I only stopped from going bust, in for £120, after I got a three-way all in with QQ against KK and AT, and hit the miracle queen on the flop.  I'm back down on Thursday, think I'll try again!