My Results

I think it's fair to say that I didn't know how to adjust to the standard of play in the EPT satellites.  Particularly on Sunday, it seems I had a lot to learn.  The following mania all happened during level 2 (blinds 50/100).

The under-the-gun player raises to 350.  A frustrated Scandinavian calls and the next player re-raises to 900.  The re-raiser only has 700 left, so he's going nowhere and I'm suspicious about why he hasn't just moved all-in already.  I find pocket jacks in the cut-off.  It's the best hand I got to see in either tournament, but with an UTG raiser who has me well covered, it's not a good spot to gamble my stack so I fold.  UTG makes the powerplay of a smooth call.  Obviously he wants to take the flop 3-way, but the other guy dissapoints him.  Naturally with a pot of over 2000, the remaining 700 gets thrown in on a low flop.  We see the re-raiser's pocket 9s hold up against UTG's T8s.

Lessons learned: Pocket pairs are always raising hands.  Folding to a re-raise is weak.

I stayed out of the way for this one.  All folded to the button who raised to 350.  He had 98o, but the steal attempt is OK.  Big blind defends with J5, a little stubborn but in fact the best hand.  Soulscan successful.  When the flop comes J97, carnage ensues.  BB check-raises all-in with his monster top pair and the button decides it's a great idea to not get pushed around, calling his last 4000 chips to win about 6000 with a gutshot and middle pair.  Seat open.

Lessons learned: Always defend your blind by calling out of position with garbage.  Folding a straight draw is weak.

That bustee had used up all his luck in an earlier hand when he had raised small preflop with pocket aces, followed by a massive all-in overbet on a 952 flop.  Just go ahead and tell everybody how strong you were before the flop and hope nobody caught up.  For sure you won't get called now unless they got very lucky to outflop you.  But outflopped he was, by pocket 2s.  Then turn 5, river 5 put him back in front in the cruelest way possible.

Next, I limp after three others with 67s.  One more player calls and the short stack big blind moves all in.  I'm starting to get desparate and wonder if there's any reason to call here after it's folded back to me.  I decide it's not even close - the pot odds aren't good and the raiser has been quite tight.  In fact, in the land of the results-oriented, my 67 would have made a straight.  I know this because the player on the button called and also made the straight with 63o.  Pocket aces went home.

Lessons learned: Limp with any old shit if you have position.  Folding once you have put chips in the pot is weak.

I didn't survive long into level 3.  In fact the levels were a complete trainwreck.  We were sent on a break at what I thought was the end of level 2, but when we got back it was still the same level.  "Another 2 minutes at this level", they announced.  About fifteen minutes later, the blinds actualy went up.

In level 3, blinds are 100/200.  The only reason there are still t25 chips in play is that antes kick in on level 4.  And to think I was worried that I might not be able to make an 8pm train home if I did well.

I was down to a thousand and change on my small blind and with 3 limpers already wanting to take a cheap look I completed with 78s.  The big blind pays no attention to the action so far and makes it 500 to go.  One of the limpers now decides to fold, but two do come along for the ride.  Having been unable to find any spots to gather chips so far and expecting to be called if I actually get chance to open-push in the next orbit, I decide I have to play this hand.  I could call and close the betting, then be the first to throw my chips at any flop that looks good, but I don't fancy pulling a stop-and-go against three other players, and with less than 1/5th of the pot size left to bet.  By moving all-in here, I want to re-open the betting to allow the agreesor to isolate, and leave plenty of dead money in the pot to give a reasonable payoff if my second-best hand improves.  Not a superb situation to be in, but I'd run out of time and couldn't expect to see much better.

In fact we take a flop four ways, and it doesn't really surprise me - even though one of the callers has left himself with just 300 chips now.  Never mind.  I'm right back in the game if I get lucky here.  Flop: 89T with two spades - a pair and open ended straight draw.  Could be worse, until I see the other cards.  67 is loving his made straight and I can only split with him.  But we're both actually drawing dead to QJ in spades - the current nuts with a flush draw to boot.

So there ends my EPT journey.  £660 for less than three hours of poker.  Next year, I think I'll probably not bother.

Worst £300 tournament ever?

3000 chips, 30 minute clock and skipping just about every other blind level.  They got me all excited to start with by giving out 5000 chips, then cruely taking them back.  When this happened one of the know-it-all regulars was saying how he'd prefer the larger stack but would want a faster clock, maybe 20 minutes.  Yeah, that would be swell.  Now fuck off and go play blackjack if you just want to take two cards and let somebody tell you if you won.

I didn't really get going, then when I had to push - after just an hour and a half - my QT was called by another QT (fantastic) and then my pocket 3s ran into a bigger pair and I was done.  The board showed JJ99Q and the dealer tried to convince everyone that it was a split (I tip handsomely for this btw) but obviously the other guy's tens played.  Hey, at least he was reading the hands and not just assuming that no 3 on board means I didn't improve.

Even with just 40 people, this structure was too fast.  Yet, off I go again shortly to give it another go.  I had considered waiting until Monday evening after I discovered they had scheduled a 200-max satellite, but if it's going to be a push fest the smaller field is less likely to be heartbreaking.

So, here's the live update graph for today's satellite (and I have set it up with the correct phone number for text updates now!).  Blink and you'll miss it, probably.

I've been playing promotions with Sporting Index whenever they've offered anything that looks favourable.  These are usually offers to refund your losses if you play a set amount on their novelty games, but I've always come out losing and getting the refund.

If, like today, the requirement is ten bets with a refund of net losses up to £30, I'll usually play an even money bet nine times and then lump whatever I have left on one final no-lose bet for the win.  In what must be close to ten previous efforts (I wrote about a couple of them here and here, and then stopped counting) the bet that matters has always lost.

Not that I'd ever imply that online gambling could be easily rigged, oh no.  Especially not stupid novelty games like "soccer shootout" where a cartoon footballer that you cannot influence kicks a ball at goal a few times and gets awarded points if he scores against a computer-controlled goalkeeper.  The number of points you get is related to where the ball hits the net - just like real life.  Goooooaaaaaallll!  You win, well, let's say six points this time.

Assuming that their roulette game is fair, and forgetting that games of chance don't have a memory, then was definitely owed before I hit a massive £26 profit today.  Nine bets of £2 betting red all the way with four wins and five losses put me in good shape for one last bet... and it came in!