The reason it feels like I’ve been offline for the past week or so if that my home office is being reconstructed. After nearly four years of stepping over boxes that I hadn’t quite unpacked since moving in, as well as the debris from my organic, floor-level filing system, the time has come to do things properly.
As part of my re-fit, I’m getting the mother of all desks. For reasons that the picture should make obvious, it’s not assembled yet, but this is what it looks like laid out on the floor. The long side is a whopping 2.2m, almost bigger than the room itself and certain to present a very interesting challenge when it comes to flipping the thing over after it’s been built.
Nice job with the end pieces, Ikea. This is "full serve" furniture so I didn’t even have chance to make that mistake myself, it took a trained professional to cock it up. Why would you think to look in the box to make sure everything is the same colour, really?
The picture is distorted a little because I used a super-wide lens, and this also adds an element of terrifying perspective to an already scary carpet. It didn’t seem quite so brown in the shop, I promise.
When the carpet fitter was here, he saw that I was working downstairs with my desk set up on the card table and talk quickly turned to poker and I got the obligatory bad beat story. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Pocket aces flops a set, big stack villian pushes with suited trash, runner-runner flush.
"It’s like they can see what cards are coming", he said. "My mate says there’s a program you can download so you see what everyone else has got even if they fold".
Presumably his mate has heard about the alleged super-user access in Absolute Poker. Either that, or he’s going to fall for a bullshit scam like this (and I realise by linking to the site I’ve just helped to increase its Google rank, but really if you’re daft enough to pay them money, you deserve all the trojans that it’s bound to come with).
I also found out he plays most nights on PKR or William Hill and enjoys six-tabling $1 sit-and-gos with a bottle of vodka. It’s an activity that that I’ll try to review in due course, but sounds like it’s something that needs a name of it’s own. I’m going to go with Absolut Poker. Ithankyou.