April 2007
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Not on TV again.

Not yet anyway ūüôā

I played a satellite last night at Gutshot for the Party Poker World Open, one of those six handed made-for-TV efforts that wishes it was Late Night Poker.  I lost one race out of one, my AK not getting there against 77 and that was that.  9th out of 20.

The signs weren’t good for this one anyway.¬† It was Friday the 13th and I was 13th to sign up.¬† Yes, there was a player called Jason.¬† No, he didn’t have a mask.¬† (Edit:¬†Jason came 2nd; it was Saturday 14th by then though).¬† It started at 11pm, and the fact that these numbers even got me thinking about that awful Jim Carrey movie is a very bad thing: 11pm is 23:00.¬† But wait, there’s more.¬† 23 is 13 plus 10, and¬†ten is the number of players starting at¬†each table.¬† The televised heat starts on the 27th of April: 27/4, and twenty seven minus four is twenty sodding three.¬† We started with 3000 chips, the levels were 25 minutes long and my coffee cost ¬£1.50 and tasted like bleach.¬†¬†What was my point?

As it was a late start, I spent the first part of the evening playing the ¬£25-¬£50 pot limit game, and I’m now eight for eight in winning sessions and, on average, up ¬£60 per session.¬† I may consider retiring with my perfect record.¬† It’s only about a month until I’m finished working in London on a regular basis, and I’ll probably have to work in the evening the next few times I come down anyway, so I can easily walk away undefeated.

On the other hand, Vegas is¬†T-99.¬† And I know nobody will get this, but what the hell…

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Double digits now, but it’s¬†still over three months away.¬† What am I going to do meantime?¬† I’m still running hot at Gutshot.¬† A good chunk of my ¬£54 profit last night came from my¬†AK top pair not losing to a massive 62s flush draw.¬† I think he’d paired the 2 as well, so it’s obviously impossible to fold in that spot.¬† Yes, I did raise pre-flop.¬†¬†How can I quit a game like that, even if I do owe it money?

Just time for a quick quiz for wannabe poker dealers:

Q: At showdown, the board reads 444Q2 and there’s no flush possibility.¬† Two players flip over K9 and K6 respectively.¬† Do you:

a) Push the pot towards K9.¬† The board didn’t help either hand, so the best hand pre-flop must be the winner.

b) Stare at the board¬†until someone says either "nine plays" or "split pot".¬† It’s their money: they’re paying attention so you don’t have to.

c) Anticipate the possibility of a split from the texture of the board.¬†¬†Read the damn hands like you’re meant to and chop up the pot before anyone gets chance to tell you how to do your job.

If you answered (c) please apply for work at Gutshot.

Seriously.¬† I saw split pots with three of a kind or two pair on board pushed to the wrong person by three different dealers.¬† Fortunately there were¬†always plenty of nits who weren’t involved in the hand to have a contest to see who could yell "split pot" first.